Reflection #4 February 5, 2007
An Epiphany at Epiphany

Epiphany - sudden realization – a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence.
Epiphany – a Christian festival observed on Jan 6 – the visit of the three wise men - Matt 2:01f.

It was an epiphany moment for me. The choir was not singing that Sunday and I was seated with the friends in a pew. As is the practice in our congregation the bread and cup communion was being offered on this first Sunday of Epiphany. The communion came at the end of the service.

I have sometimes been indifferent about taking part in communion. But this day I decided that I was going to participate. As I moved, along with those in the pew with me, into the center aisle to go forward to receive communion, I suddenly remembered a time when I had been denied communion. And then it came to me and I realized with thankfulness that I had the choice to “come to the table.”

I can recall vividly that time that I felt excluded. It was in the spring of my year-long CPE residency in a Chicago hospital. Barbara, my wife (we were still married at that time), Joel our son, and his woman friend were attending a Catholic university church located on the shore of Lake Michigan. It was Easter Saturday/Easter Eve - the midnight mass.

I was in the midst of a rather difficult CPE year. I was beginning to realize that in my future I would not be willing to return as an ordained professional to a position in the Church of the Brethren unless I could be completely honest about my sexuality. I was struggling with my own integrity. And I was grieving because I understood that in all likelihood I would probably not ever again be a pastor in the Church of the Brethren, or a District Executive, or a national staff person. I was, I know, on an emotional edge.

Then, that late Saturday night in that lovely cathedral-like structure, as the Easter eve service was coming to a conclusion, the priest made it clear that only Catholics would be invited to the table. Though I was not Catholic, and though the disinvitation was not unexpected, I felt that I was being heaved bodily out of the door --- and out of the church, even my own church. Reality struck. I was no longer welcome at the table, not even in the Church of the Brethren. I felt, suddenly, excluded and alone. And, on that quiet Easter eve, sitting with my family, I cried.

This past Epiphany Sunday I realized that our congregation – and I – had come a long, long way. We are now a congregation that welcomes gays and lesbians. I was, without rebuke and without question, invited to the table. The pastor was clear. All may come. And again, I cried.

I would wish that you, the reader, could imagine what is going through the heart and soul of any person in your congregation who feels, openly or secretly, that the table is not open - that they are not welcomed.

Some of those who may feel uninvited are gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, and transgendered; persons with physical and mental disabilities; persons of color in an all-white congregation; those who feel undereducated; or without money; the homeless; the poor; the depressed; and so forth.

A congregation that faithfully, honestly, prophetically and courageously seeks out what it means to be inclusive of gays and lesbians will also find that they are dealing with a whole new world of what it means to be inclusive. Conversely, the congregation that tries to include some but exclude others, such as gays and lesbians, still has not dealt forthrightly with what it means to present a welcoming table.

It is my guess that a truly welcoming congregation is a congregation that has courage. They have been willing to confront and talk in depth with those who are blatant excluders. It is an interesting dilemma, isn’t it? It would appear that we exclude some from the table in order to keep the excluders who are within – in.

Benton Rhoades, at one of the Dancing at the Table events a number of years ago, said that we are reaching a “critical mass.” Perhaps we are. Over 200 came to a “witness” event at Annual Conference last year – showing support for BMC who had, once again, been denied a booth at the conference. And this year, at this writing, Voices for an Open Spirit and Womaen’s Caucus, standing with BMC, have decided not to have their own Annual Conference booth, for BMC was once again has been excluded “from the table.”

What an incongruity. It is somehow logical to invite Brethren Revival Fellowship, which in many actions does not agree with the Church of the Brethren Annual Conference statements and resolutions, but not invite Brethren Mennonite Council which in most of its concerns about justice, peace, and reconciliation do agree with Annual Conference statements and resolutions. In only one statement is it clear that BMC is not in agreement with Annual Conference statements. And that statement on “Human Sexuality from a Christian Perspective” (1983) states on the very last page under ‘Suggestions for Use of This Paper’, “It is not the intention of a position paper to force agreement or to dictate to others what they are to believe or do.”

What is needed is a movement of believers. Write to the executives of the five Annual Conference agencies. Let your District Executive know your opinion. Talk with your Standing Committee delegates. Write to Program and Arrangements Committee. Encourage your own Annual Conference delegates to take the opportunity to speak out at this year’s Annual Conference. Have you written or spoken to some of the decision makers? Have you spoken up in your own congregation? Have you make it clear – very clear – to those who may feel excluded that they are truly welcome to come to the table in your congregation?

The arc of history bends toward justice.
Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

- Ralph McFadden